I receive calls most weeks from parents of children who STRUGGLE TO GET TO SLEEP AT NIGHT. Either their child struggles to settle at night or more often, all of the 'not nice' thoughts or their WORRIES from the day begin to appear - or as I call it - their ’Monkey Brain’ gets very active at night. This can often lead to worry earlier in the evening that they won’t be able to sleep, or to worry that if they wake up in the night, they won’t be able to get back to sleep (and as a result they often don’t fall back to sleep easily). When children struggle to sleep, so do parents and this can leave households feeling tired and overwhelmed and often dreading what the evening or night-time will bring.
I know there are so many different ways to parent and it can be confusing which path to follow. Every parent is entitled to choose whichever path they wish; however, as a mum of two girls and a Life Coach working with children, I firmly believe in bedtime routines. It can be a challenge initially to find the time or even energy after a long day to create this routine, but I promise in the long-term, both you and your children will reap the benefits of putting the work in.
So here are a few of the TOP TIPS that I have gathered and used myself over the years that have helped my children and others to create good bedtime routines that are not too time consuming and are, from my experience, very effective. Lots of these tips come from the area of POSITIVE PSYCHOLOGY - as so many of the thoughts we have are negative or unhelpful thoughts, in particular at night-time; therefore, we must consciously invite positive or helpful thoughts into our mind:
1) Routine, routine, routine
Children thrive on routine. They like to know what is going to happen next (that is why they often want you to read them the same story even though they have heard it 20 times before!). So, develop a routine that works for you and your family situation and stick to it as closely as you can. I often sit with families and we draw or write out their bedtime routine step by step, so both the parents and children know how their evening is going to go. Children love having input into this and decorating it…make it a fun activity rather than them seeing it as more ‘rules’ to obey.
2) Don’t skip pillow talk with your child
I know myself, when I am putting my children to bed, my energy tank is often very low or empty and all I can think of is the list of jobs still awaiting me in the kitchen. But it is so important to sit on the bed and chat and cuddle them and listen to whatever is on their mind. This does not mean that they dictate how long you stay – set limits in advance so they are aware, and when you say it is time to go, then it is time to go, even if they are whining for you to stay longer.
3) Listen to their worries if they bring them up, but don’t let that be the last thoughts they have before you leave
I could have spent all evening with my girls and they appear to be as happy as Larry, but once bedtime comes, this is often when all that went wrong in their day appears, or any worries that are on their mind comes out. The ‘Monkey Brain’ kicks in! (When you think about it yourself, bedtime is often the time our worries come into our mind also)
Listen to their thoughts and worries and give advice where appropriate; however, always do your best to end the night with good thoughts. Even on the toughest or worst days, something good or a nice things will have happened.
See the ‘When you go to bed at night’ prompt sheet attached. This is something I do with my children every night and I have shared it with so many families and the feedback has been great. It leaves children with better, happier thoughts, which then helps to create more pleasant dreams and a better-quality sleep.
4) Allow your children to put themselves to sleep
Children need to learn to self-regulate. If you help them to sleep at bedtime, you will inevitably have to help them back to sleep when they wake up at night. Allow them to read, listen to sleep stories or listen to a guided meditation. DO NOT allow them to fall asleep with screens. The blue light emitted from screens can inhibit the bodies natural melatonin release.
I have attached a guided meditation/sleep story called ‘In my imagination meditation’ that I recorded for my children which you can try. My girls love being brought on a journey in their imagination, so this is one I tell them often and now since I recorded it, they can listen to it whenever they want! (If you have any trouble downloading it, just send me a message and I will send it on to you directly).
If you want to hear more about the work that I do or if I can help you in any way, do not hesitate to give me a call for a no obligation chat.
Wishing you and your children a calm bedtime.
The very best of luck!
Sharon x
#lifecoach #kidscoach #kidscoaching #nighttime #resilience #teencoach #emotionalintelligence #qualitytime #positivepsychology #growthmindset #empowerkids #nlp #mindset #CoronaIreland #WorkFromHome #Covid19 #coronavirusireland #LouthChat #InThisTogether #socialdistancing #choice #focus #energy #strength #feelings #anxiety #stress #positivementalhealth #IrelandVsCOVID #ParentingInAPandemic #monkeybrain #worry
Comments